Okay, so it has been about 10 years (2 weeks) since I have posted. I did not forget about you girlies, I promise! I'm still thinkin about ya. The reason it has been so long is because we had a super early homecoming week and I barely found time to eat and sleep nontheless spend time on a computer. Anyway, I'm here, I'm alive and ready to get going again full force. Before I get started, if there is anything you would like to see me write about or discuss on my blog, please don't hesitate to email me at srayburn7@gmail.com. I am always checking it. Ok so this week, I want to talk about being happy. I do not know what makes you happy or what makes you smile. But I know a couple ways that may improve the quality of your happiness. When I finally started applying these tips to my life, I became a much happier and confident girl. So take notes, here we go.
Tip #1:
Do What You Have To Do
I know homework is not necessarily what makes everybody happy. A lot of times, it is the cause of our anger and negativity in the evening. But I have learned (thanks to my consistent mother) that if you just do it all, right away, with out making distractions for yourself, you'll be happier in the end when you have time to do things you enjoy. So if you bring your homework home, sit down and finish it with out doing things in between, I promise you will have time to go hang out with your friends or get some decent sleep at night. This does not just apply to homework though. Anything you need to do, get it done with out excessive breaks and you'll be proud that you do it right with out wasting time.
Tip #2:
Leave the Comparison/Contrast for English Class
I know you hear "Be Yourself" every day of your life. But here's how to do it: Stop comparing yourself to others. You do it with out even knowing you're doing it. I still do it and it is the hardest habit to try and break. Obviously, no one is any "better" than you are. Maybe a girl in your grade can put an outfit together better than you, or can play the sport you love better than you. Those are little material things that are not going to matter as you get older. I guarantee you, there things that other girls you are always around don't have, that you do. Stop saying what is so much better about everbody else and start realizing the things that you are good at, things you love.
But the other side of that is making sure you don't get in over your head with what you are better at. Just because you are better at little material things, does not make you any better as an overall person. The other girl being better at sports is not a hint that she is better than you. You are equal, because things that give you different personalities, balance you out as people. I can't help but think about my own experiences. There has always been at least one girl who has treated me like I don't matter, or that she is better than me for every reason possible. Been when I stopped comparing myself to her or to other girls who do the same thing, I realized that they might be jealous of things that I have that they do not, and that they are not better than me and I'm no better than them. But for the girls I thought I was better than, I started to see what they could do that I could not. It puts things in to a great big perspective of life for me and it felt awesome when I saw that.
Tip #3:
Be Yourself
I love the saying "Be yourself because everyone else is already taken." It states the wholesome truth. You can not be somebody else, because I can assure you, you will not succeed, and we all want to succeed right? I am going to compare this situation to clothes because I think we can all relate. I definitely understand going out and getting a shirt or a pair of shoes because you thought they were cute and they would definitely go with the rest of your closet, I do that all the time. But you wouldn't take all of your clothes in your closet, throw them out and go buy a whole new wardrobe to match another girl, would you? That's too much time you would waste being something you're not and would get expensive.
What I'm trying to say here is that find things you like and that match your personality with others'. But don't wipe out everything that makes you, you and replace it with a personality that you have not already lived with and been known for. Trading you for someone else is something that you will cost you your true friends and by the time you realize how much damage you've done, it will be too late to turn back and gain back everything you had before. I'm not saying it's impossible, anything is possible. It will take a lot of work and and a long time. But why put so much in jeopardy when you could just prevent it now?
I don't know why being anyone else would be so much better than who you naturally are. After all, you're a beauty queen and that's all that matters right?
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
My Story...What's yours?
This past Sunday at youth group, we talked about being there for others, even when it seems out of place. Our youth leader, who I know is reading this, told us a story about herself in this situation. She knew she had to be there for someone she barely knew, but she got the courage to say something to this girl and as it turned out, they both needed each other. My youth leader got something out of helping someone she saw struggling.
I spoke up after her story as my thoughts rushed to my head in a jumble as they always do, so I didn't really know where to begin but I realized I can totally relate. If you read my last two blog posts, you'd know that I went through a rebel stage, a bit of a rough patch in middle school and into my first year of high school. I had friends, but it's not like they were good influences. I was at the peak of my cheerleading career, but I still wasn't satisfied. Boys liked me, but not for the reasons I would have liked them to. I didn't bother to go to church for at least a year, that was not a priority of mine. Cheerleading and my social life were, school work was wedged in there somewhere, and as for my family, who wants to hang out without them when you're 14?
Nottt This Girllll...
I missed out on some precious time with my brother before he left for college. I got into trouble, a lot of it. All I wanted to do was cheer and go out with my friends. But that all came crashing down when I realized one day that I had to stop being so ignorant. I was taking everything I had for granted. My parents, my friends, my family. It wasn't until I injured my back cheerleading that I realized all of this. I couldn't cheer anymore so I didn't know what the heck to do with my time anymore. I prayed for days and nights that God would restrengthen my back. He didn't. I couldn't go back to cheer until the doctor said my muscles were strong enough. But that's when God and I, we made a deal. He would talk to me more, if I would start the conversation. I knew he would help me, but I couldn't imagine how big he would. I got over my back and started recollecting myself, piece by piece, with Jesus walking next to me the whole time, hand in hand. I had to start surrounding myself with different people. For a few months, I went with out a group of solid friends, and I was devestated about that. I thought I was going downhill again. But in the mean time, my grades got better. My mom was pretty happy about that one in particular. I was involved in a lot at school and I even got accepted onto my high school's yearbook staff.
I saw things heading in the right direction. My relationship with my parents was in check and my brother became my best friend. No boys liked me, i didn't have friends at school, but at least God had my back and I always had my parents to fall back on.
Now here's where it all gets good. At the beginning of my sophomore year, I started French II, and in that class was on of my best childhood friends, and another girl who I despised in middle school. But that didn't matter now. Emily, the middle school enemy, soon became my best friend. It was hard to imagine how alike we really were. Her other best friend Natalie, became a bestie of mine too. The 3 best friends that anyone could have, boom, sophomore year. I asked God for a group of friends and he delivered. I have no idea how I could get along with out them now. I don't need boys now; I have awesome friends I'd rather spend my time with.
There was a point at youth group one evening where I realized how much I had changed in just a couple months. I had asked God to change me, change the direction of my life to where he wanted it to go, and he definitely did.
But, there was one more issue. I still loved cheerleading and my back was not 100%. Needless to say, I couldn't compete with KC Cheer anymore, that would be way too much for my injury to handle. But what I did decide to do is cheer for my school. I had tried out Freshman year and didn't make it. My sophomore year was my injury year. But since I had started tumbling again, I thought maybe I was strong enough to do something with my time. God was kind of nudging my shoulder in the direction of school cheerleading. So I tried out and I made Varsity. I can't even tell you how excited I still am.
But when it came back to the issue of my back injury, I wasn't sure how it would hold up. I had my doctor and a spinal specialist tell me that it was not able to ever heal, I would have to deal with it, and I accepted that. Until my mom's chiropractor overheard me talking in his office. He set a meeting with me and took some X-rays and called me back in when he had the results. I broke down in tears when he told me he could heal my back, and that there was no reason I couldn't be as strong as I used to be.
Now in my eyes, this was God saying that I have done what he wants me to do, I have found out my gift of helping other people through my own pain. I have fixed what I needed to fix and he gave me a gift in return. He healed me. Knowing this and seeing what he has done, only makes me want to continue what I do and love him even more than before.
What I pointed out to the girls at youth group this week was that I have used every negative point of my life to help other girls and say "You don't have to go through this tough time alone! I understand." This is what I want to do more than anything, is help other people through my pain. But more importantly, in this journey of helping people, I have been changed and have only been getting stronger every day.
So here's my challenge for you this week: Do what you have to do to find out what God wants in your life. It takes time, but completely clearing your life of the negative influences and such will make life a lot easier in the long run. I'm not perfect yet, but I'm a heck of a lot better than I used to be and you can be too!
It's a step by step process but after all, you're a beauty queen and that's all that matters, right?
I spoke up after her story as my thoughts rushed to my head in a jumble as they always do, so I didn't really know where to begin but I realized I can totally relate. If you read my last two blog posts, you'd know that I went through a rebel stage, a bit of a rough patch in middle school and into my first year of high school. I had friends, but it's not like they were good influences. I was at the peak of my cheerleading career, but I still wasn't satisfied. Boys liked me, but not for the reasons I would have liked them to. I didn't bother to go to church for at least a year, that was not a priority of mine. Cheerleading and my social life were, school work was wedged in there somewhere, and as for my family, who wants to hang out without them when you're 14?
Nottt This Girllll...
I missed out on some precious time with my brother before he left for college. I got into trouble, a lot of it. All I wanted to do was cheer and go out with my friends. But that all came crashing down when I realized one day that I had to stop being so ignorant. I was taking everything I had for granted. My parents, my friends, my family. It wasn't until I injured my back cheerleading that I realized all of this. I couldn't cheer anymore so I didn't know what the heck to do with my time anymore. I prayed for days and nights that God would restrengthen my back. He didn't. I couldn't go back to cheer until the doctor said my muscles were strong enough. But that's when God and I, we made a deal. He would talk to me more, if I would start the conversation. I knew he would help me, but I couldn't imagine how big he would. I got over my back and started recollecting myself, piece by piece, with Jesus walking next to me the whole time, hand in hand. I had to start surrounding myself with different people. For a few months, I went with out a group of solid friends, and I was devestated about that. I thought I was going downhill again. But in the mean time, my grades got better. My mom was pretty happy about that one in particular. I was involved in a lot at school and I even got accepted onto my high school's yearbook staff.
I saw things heading in the right direction. My relationship with my parents was in check and my brother became my best friend. No boys liked me, i didn't have friends at school, but at least God had my back and I always had my parents to fall back on.
Now here's where it all gets good. At the beginning of my sophomore year, I started French II, and in that class was on of my best childhood friends, and another girl who I despised in middle school. But that didn't matter now. Emily, the middle school enemy, soon became my best friend. It was hard to imagine how alike we really were. Her other best friend Natalie, became a bestie of mine too. The 3 best friends that anyone could have, boom, sophomore year. I asked God for a group of friends and he delivered. I have no idea how I could get along with out them now. I don't need boys now; I have awesome friends I'd rather spend my time with.
There was a point at youth group one evening where I realized how much I had changed in just a couple months. I had asked God to change me, change the direction of my life to where he wanted it to go, and he definitely did.
But, there was one more issue. I still loved cheerleading and my back was not 100%. Needless to say, I couldn't compete with KC Cheer anymore, that would be way too much for my injury to handle. But what I did decide to do is cheer for my school. I had tried out Freshman year and didn't make it. My sophomore year was my injury year. But since I had started tumbling again, I thought maybe I was strong enough to do something with my time. God was kind of nudging my shoulder in the direction of school cheerleading. So I tried out and I made Varsity. I can't even tell you how excited I still am.
But when it came back to the issue of my back injury, I wasn't sure how it would hold up. I had my doctor and a spinal specialist tell me that it was not able to ever heal, I would have to deal with it, and I accepted that. Until my mom's chiropractor overheard me talking in his office. He set a meeting with me and took some X-rays and called me back in when he had the results. I broke down in tears when he told me he could heal my back, and that there was no reason I couldn't be as strong as I used to be.
Now in my eyes, this was God saying that I have done what he wants me to do, I have found out my gift of helping other people through my own pain. I have fixed what I needed to fix and he gave me a gift in return. He healed me. Knowing this and seeing what he has done, only makes me want to continue what I do and love him even more than before.
What I pointed out to the girls at youth group this week was that I have used every negative point of my life to help other girls and say "You don't have to go through this tough time alone! I understand." This is what I want to do more than anything, is help other people through my pain. But more importantly, in this journey of helping people, I have been changed and have only been getting stronger every day.
So here's my challenge for you this week: Do what you have to do to find out what God wants in your life. It takes time, but completely clearing your life of the negative influences and such will make life a lot easier in the long run. I'm not perfect yet, but I'm a heck of a lot better than I used to be and you can be too!
It's a step by step process but after all, you're a beauty queen and that's all that matters, right?
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Look at Me
When I was a little girl, from the time I was in kindergarten until I was in sixth grade, I was on a Junior Jaguar cheer squad with all my friends. We had practice once a week and cheered for football players our age on Saturdays. But once a year, we got to do a clinic with the High School Cheerleaders and perform with them at a football game. That was the cat's meow. Just the way they talked and walked, I didn't know what the word classy meant at the time but if I had, that's what I would have said they were. They were every dream of mine combined and more.
I kept cheering through middle school on both KC Cheer and my school's cheer squad. When it came time for me to try out and live out my dream, I was wearing a boot to protect the ankle I had broken two weeks earlier. But I did everything I could and tried out with every ounce of cheerleader I had in me. But I did not make the team, and I was devestated. I cheered for KC Cheer for one more year and injured my back with a bulging disc at our very last competition.
But, after a year off, I tried out again for my school's cheer squad and made Varsity my first year. I love it more than anything. Last night we had Friday Night Lights with the little girls, and I realized that they look up to me and my team more than anything. We were probably the only people that existed at that point in time, I remember how it was. Now that I'm done writing my novel, here's my point:
It is the best feeling to look down at a little girl that you used to be, and know that she has that same dream that you do. There's nothing better than knowing that you are the role model of a girl somewhere. You don't know how good it feels until you have done what's right to be in that position.
So here's what I'm getting at, if you inspire a child or anyone, really, you deserve to be at the top of the world. But you can't get there by doing what you've always done. You have to go out of your way. Be that girl that steps up and says "I'm going to go the right path and help." or "This is not the right thing to be doing, I'm stepping away from this situation for good."
Be that girl that little girls will look up at you and say "I want to be just like you." It doesn't necessarily come easily, But making that positive reputation for yourself will pay off more than you can imagine in the long run, I am still struggling with changing who I am and how I behave, it's the hardest thing to do.
My Dad says that the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing but expecting different results. Going out with your friends every weekend isn't going to bring you any closer to your family. Continuing to be that girl at school who steps out of the box, does the right thing with no intention of drama or trouble, that's a path to follow.
It does not however, come with changing how you like or the things you like, it may have something to do with the people you hang around, I have changed plenty of that in the past couple years and now, I have to 2 best friends a girl could ask for. I have girls that look up to me and people that know me for positive reasons.
As my man Tim Mcgraw says, "I ain't as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be." It will take some time, but the rewards are sweeter than the temporary high in the present.
But remember, You're a Beauty Queen, with a beautiful soul. Now go find it!
I kept cheering through middle school on both KC Cheer and my school's cheer squad. When it came time for me to try out and live out my dream, I was wearing a boot to protect the ankle I had broken two weeks earlier. But I did everything I could and tried out with every ounce of cheerleader I had in me. But I did not make the team, and I was devestated. I cheered for KC Cheer for one more year and injured my back with a bulging disc at our very last competition.
But, after a year off, I tried out again for my school's cheer squad and made Varsity my first year. I love it more than anything. Last night we had Friday Night Lights with the little girls, and I realized that they look up to me and my team more than anything. We were probably the only people that existed at that point in time, I remember how it was. Now that I'm done writing my novel, here's my point:
It is the best feeling to look down at a little girl that you used to be, and know that she has that same dream that you do. There's nothing better than knowing that you are the role model of a girl somewhere. You don't know how good it feels until you have done what's right to be in that position.
So here's what I'm getting at, if you inspire a child or anyone, really, you deserve to be at the top of the world. But you can't get there by doing what you've always done. You have to go out of your way. Be that girl that steps up and says "I'm going to go the right path and help." or "This is not the right thing to be doing, I'm stepping away from this situation for good."
Be that girl that little girls will look up at you and say "I want to be just like you." It doesn't necessarily come easily, But making that positive reputation for yourself will pay off more than you can imagine in the long run, I am still struggling with changing who I am and how I behave, it's the hardest thing to do.
My Dad says that the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing but expecting different results. Going out with your friends every weekend isn't going to bring you any closer to your family. Continuing to be that girl at school who steps out of the box, does the right thing with no intention of drama or trouble, that's a path to follow.
It does not however, come with changing how you like or the things you like, it may have something to do with the people you hang around, I have changed plenty of that in the past couple years and now, I have to 2 best friends a girl could ask for. I have girls that look up to me and people that know me for positive reasons.
As my man Tim Mcgraw says, "I ain't as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be." It will take some time, but the rewards are sweeter than the temporary high in the present.
But remember, You're a Beauty Queen, with a beautiful soul. Now go find it!
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Here Goes Nothing...Literally
I guess I'll start by telling you about me, and why I'm doing this. My name is Shelby Rayburn and I am 16 years old. I go to a typical high school in a typical suburb, with my atypical friends; they're my everything. I am a cheerleader, a model, an NHS member, and the web editor for my school yearbook. Needless to say, I have plenty on my plate. Where am I supposed to find time for a blog? Here's where:
I love journalism, I have 3 published articles in a magazine and plenty more in my school's yearbook. I love photo journalism just as much as a I love copy, but being the new web editor this year, I figured it would be more beneficial if I spend a few more hours a week online.
As if I'm not busy enough, I have another plan working in the back of my mind. A plan that God has specifically put there through my own experiences as a teenage girl. Women can speak to girls and empower them all they want, I've been empowered through women and their testimonies. I think it's amazing. But who better knows the current situation of every quote-unquote "outcast" girl out there, better than one herself?
You heard it, I'm different. I'm not popular, I don't have "perfect" hair or "perfect" teeth, and certainly not a "perfect" body. Why put the word Perfect in quotes? here's why...
What is perfect?
Dictionary.com defines it as this:
"Conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type."
Conforming. I would hope you know what this means. simply Changing. Sounds easy. But trust me, I've tried to be this word "perfect" many times. It doesn't work. However, it seems to work for every other girl out there. You know what I'm talking about.
"Why can't my hair be just like hers?
"Why cant I get my makeup to stay on like that?"
"How come you can still see her amazing body in those sweats and mine makes me look like an avocado?"
You've all seen someone and thought this before, am I right? If you think you're not pretty enough, not smart enough, not good enough for that boy you like, not good enough for your parents to appreciate. If you've ever been put down for physical appearance or the way you do something, or if you just do something at all, trust me my friend, the world is not coming to an end. It's mearly starting.
I went through too much in Middle School and the beginning of high school to let anything thoughts similar to mine go through another young girls' mind. I thought I was useless and dumb and never going to make it out of the 8th grade and into high school alive. But it's because I had girls only slightly older than me telling me that I was so much better than I saw myself.
This world of teenagers needs a change. There is no "perfect" until you look in the mirror and see that everything beautiful in your life is standing right in front of you. Believe in God and yourself and trust me, there will be no greater love and no greater gifts in life than what you can take from that relationship.
I'll do my best to blog a couple times a week. Please help me get started by subscribing and feel free to comment or email me with suggestions, concerns, and questions!
You're a beauty queen, and that's all you need to know.
I love journalism, I have 3 published articles in a magazine and plenty more in my school's yearbook. I love photo journalism just as much as a I love copy, but being the new web editor this year, I figured it would be more beneficial if I spend a few more hours a week online.
As if I'm not busy enough, I have another plan working in the back of my mind. A plan that God has specifically put there through my own experiences as a teenage girl. Women can speak to girls and empower them all they want, I've been empowered through women and their testimonies. I think it's amazing. But who better knows the current situation of every quote-unquote "outcast" girl out there, better than one herself?
You heard it, I'm different. I'm not popular, I don't have "perfect" hair or "perfect" teeth, and certainly not a "perfect" body. Why put the word Perfect in quotes? here's why...
What is perfect?
Dictionary.com defines it as this:
"Conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type."
Conforming. I would hope you know what this means. simply Changing. Sounds easy. But trust me, I've tried to be this word "perfect" many times. It doesn't work. However, it seems to work for every other girl out there. You know what I'm talking about.
"Why can't my hair be just like hers?
"Why cant I get my makeup to stay on like that?"
"How come you can still see her amazing body in those sweats and mine makes me look like an avocado?"
You've all seen someone and thought this before, am I right? If you think you're not pretty enough, not smart enough, not good enough for that boy you like, not good enough for your parents to appreciate. If you've ever been put down for physical appearance or the way you do something, or if you just do something at all, trust me my friend, the world is not coming to an end. It's mearly starting.
I went through too much in Middle School and the beginning of high school to let anything thoughts similar to mine go through another young girls' mind. I thought I was useless and dumb and never going to make it out of the 8th grade and into high school alive. But it's because I had girls only slightly older than me telling me that I was so much better than I saw myself.
This world of teenagers needs a change. There is no "perfect" until you look in the mirror and see that everything beautiful in your life is standing right in front of you. Believe in God and yourself and trust me, there will be no greater love and no greater gifts in life than what you can take from that relationship.
I'll do my best to blog a couple times a week. Please help me get started by subscribing and feel free to comment or email me with suggestions, concerns, and questions!
You're a beauty queen, and that's all you need to know.
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