This past Sunday at youth group, we talked about being there for others, even when it seems out of place. Our youth leader, who I know is reading this, told us a story about herself in this situation. She knew she had to be there for someone she barely knew, but she got the courage to say something to this girl and as it turned out, they both needed each other. My youth leader got something out of helping someone she saw struggling.
I spoke up after her story as my thoughts rushed to my head in a jumble as they always do, so I didn't really know where to begin but I realized I can totally relate. If you read my last two blog posts, you'd know that I went through a rebel stage, a bit of a rough patch in middle school and into my first year of high school. I had friends, but it's not like they were good influences. I was at the peak of my cheerleading career, but I still wasn't satisfied. Boys liked me, but not for the reasons I would have liked them to. I didn't bother to go to church for at least a year, that was not a priority of mine. Cheerleading and my social life were, school work was wedged in there somewhere, and as for my family, who wants to hang out without them when you're 14?
Nottt This Girllll...
I missed out on some precious time with my brother before he left for college. I got into trouble, a lot of it. All I wanted to do was cheer and go out with my friends. But that all came crashing down when I realized one day that I had to stop being so ignorant. I was taking everything I had for granted. My parents, my friends, my family. It wasn't until I injured my back cheerleading that I realized all of this. I couldn't cheer anymore so I didn't know what the heck to do with my time anymore. I prayed for days and nights that God would restrengthen my back. He didn't. I couldn't go back to cheer until the doctor said my muscles were strong enough. But that's when God and I, we made a deal. He would talk to me more, if I would start the conversation. I knew he would help me, but I couldn't imagine how big he would. I got over my back and started recollecting myself, piece by piece, with Jesus walking next to me the whole time, hand in hand. I had to start surrounding myself with different people. For a few months, I went with out a group of solid friends, and I was devestated about that. I thought I was going downhill again. But in the mean time, my grades got better. My mom was pretty happy about that one in particular. I was involved in a lot at school and I even got accepted onto my high school's yearbook staff.
I saw things heading in the right direction. My relationship with my parents was in check and my brother became my best friend. No boys liked me, i didn't have friends at school, but at least God had my back and I always had my parents to fall back on.
Now here's where it all gets good. At the beginning of my sophomore year, I started French II, and in that class was on of my best childhood friends, and another girl who I despised in middle school. But that didn't matter now. Emily, the middle school enemy, soon became my best friend. It was hard to imagine how alike we really were. Her other best friend Natalie, became a bestie of mine too. The 3 best friends that anyone could have, boom, sophomore year. I asked God for a group of friends and he delivered. I have no idea how I could get along with out them now. I don't need boys now; I have awesome friends I'd rather spend my time with.
There was a point at youth group one evening where I realized how much I had changed in just a couple months. I had asked God to change me, change the direction of my life to where he wanted it to go, and he definitely did.
But, there was one more issue. I still loved cheerleading and my back was not 100%. Needless to say, I couldn't compete with KC Cheer anymore, that would be way too much for my injury to handle. But what I did decide to do is cheer for my school. I had tried out Freshman year and didn't make it. My sophomore year was my injury year. But since I had started tumbling again, I thought maybe I was strong enough to do something with my time. God was kind of nudging my shoulder in the direction of school cheerleading. So I tried out and I made Varsity. I can't even tell you how excited I still am.
But when it came back to the issue of my back injury, I wasn't sure how it would hold up. I had my doctor and a spinal specialist tell me that it was not able to ever heal, I would have to deal with it, and I accepted that. Until my mom's chiropractor overheard me talking in his office. He set a meeting with me and took some X-rays and called me back in when he had the results. I broke down in tears when he told me he could heal my back, and that there was no reason I couldn't be as strong as I used to be.
Now in my eyes, this was God saying that I have done what he wants me to do, I have found out my gift of helping other people through my own pain. I have fixed what I needed to fix and he gave me a gift in return. He healed me. Knowing this and seeing what he has done, only makes me want to continue what I do and love him even more than before.
What I pointed out to the girls at youth group this week was that I have used every negative point of my life to help other girls and say "You don't have to go through this tough time alone! I understand." This is what I want to do more than anything, is help other people through my pain. But more importantly, in this journey of helping people, I have been changed and have only been getting stronger every day.
So here's my challenge for you this week: Do what you have to do to find out what God wants in your life. It takes time, but completely clearing your life of the negative influences and such will make life a lot easier in the long run. I'm not perfect yet, but I'm a heck of a lot better than I used to be and you can be too!
It's a step by step process but after all, you're a beauty queen and that's all that matters, right?
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