It seriously amazes me sometimes how much people can sit and talk about someone else that they haven't even spent time with. Like they definitely know why that person acts the way they do. I caught myself doing it this week and realized that I didn't even know anything about it, it was a rumor I had heard. So what gave me the right to go and tell 10 other people? Nothing, because I didn't know. I had to think of a quick way to save myself and make it look like I hadn't meant what I so rudely shared. There are somany things we need to be aware of when we speak. It really goes along with "think before you speak", because its so true. I have said things before I wish I would not have. But that doesn't mean it's too late to correct anything. I saw a quote in an article I was reading once that said "I have no right to judge someone and neither do you." Stop being so quick to judge, people!
On the other end of that though, we have to understand and analyze why people judge us. It isn't to throw us down or sincerely hurt us, it's because the person judging has their own insecurities, their own flaws that they need to hide. So, their "defense mechanism" as I like to call it, is to broadcast everyone else's flaws. They don't understand your story any better than you understand their insecurities.
For example, a classmate of yours may be very self-conscious about her weight. To make herself seem better, she might say that another skinnier girl, is anorexic and that she doesn't eat. That could go two ways: The skinny girl could actually be anorexic, but no one knows, in which case her feelings would be hurt. Or, the skinny girl is perfectly healthy and now she's really peeved. DramaTown, right?
Anyway, a big reason that people judge at my school is over relationships. They comment on people dating, saying it's a wierd couple. But the biggest one I hear is "did you hear who she slept with this weekend?" or girls calling other girls whores. I can't even stand it anymore. It's like they live their life in a less-civilized way than you do.
Just because you don't agree with someone else's behaviors, choices, or lifestyle, doesn't give you the right to down-talk them. They have different ways of making themselves happy and you do too. I'm sure they disagree with some of your lifestyle choices as well. But you don't see them judging you for it. Even if they are judging you back, be the bigger person and let it go. They have to walk away at some point. But when you think about it, judging other people and counting their sins, does not automatically give you a free pass to heaven card. It almost makes it worse.
The bible tells us to love our enemies, it's the only way the issue(s) will be solved. Put the whole world in your hand right now (metaphorically of course.) Now think point to another continent. For example, Europe. In Europe, it is typical for children to drink wine with dinner. All this time you've been judging people for drinking, and there's kids elsewhere on the planet, doing it because it's normal. That's the amazing thing about our world, everyone is absolutely different in so many ways. Judging someone for any reason at all would be like saying a dog should really stop barking because it's abnormal. But you would never say that because it's typical for dogs to bark, just like it's typical for that girl at school to live the way she does.
"Raise your hand if you've ever been personally victimized by Regina George." Okay I hope you know this moie, and if you don't, it's Mean Girls. Watch it, it's perfect for this subject. If you have ever been judged by someone else, 99.999% of the time, it's not going to be because they actually know everything about your insecure situation. It's probably because they have their own insecure situation that is similar, and they don't want people to know about it. Calling someone legitimatly dumb is probably a booster for them, knowing the fact that their parents are not as involved in their life as the 'dumb' person's parents are.
So here are my solutions:
1. Love yourself; you have flaws but you'll overcome them stronger than ever one day
2. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger; just believe it, I promise it's true
3. Be nice to everyone; they'll realize at some point
4. Don't count sins, worry about being the best you can be
5. Find the good in everyone else; who knows, one day you could need those good things out of them and they'll need the good out of you
6. Find the good in yourself; You're a beauty-queen and that's all that matters
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